Playing Doctor
by Talisha Hibdon
Summary: Frodo gets sick and Pippin comes to the rescue!... or does he? BEWARE! Hobbit Silliness Ahead!


** Playing Doctor **  
_by Talisha Hibdon _

_Author note: The Lord of the Rings and its characters do not belong to me (though Frodo and Sam would delicious locked away in my room ^.^). They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, the brilliant professor and author. This takes place 2 years after Bilbo leaves the Shire for good. This is my first non-slash LOTR fic, though there are VERY mild hints at slashyness with Frodo and Sam. Sorry, but I could hardly help it. This fic just wrote itself. Please be kind when you review!_  


It was another peaceful, beautiful morning in land of the Shire. The birds were out early with the sun and were singing unceasingly. Hobbits bustled about on their business, offering warm greetings to both friend and stranger alike. Indeed, everything was absolutely wonderful in-  
  
"ACHOO!"  
  
Well, maybe it wasn't so wonderful for everyone.  
  
Frodo Baggins laid miserabley in his bed in the Master Bedroom of Bag End on that otherwise fine morning. His nose was as red as an apple and his eyes were watery with much coughing. Sweat glistened off the pale skin of his face and a weezed as he breathed. IE, it was flu season and Frodo was the first target of Hobbiton.  
  
"I'm going to die..." he moaned softly, trying weakly to get up and failing horribly. "This is it... Can't breath... can't get up to eat.. This is the end..."  
  
At that moment there came to his ears the sounds of the front door opening and closing. Before he could have a chance to wonder who it was, Pippin skipped into the room with the usual carelessness and exuberance of a 13 year old hobbit lad.  
  
"Cousin Frodo! Cousi-" he stopped short of shouting again when he noticed the state of his eldest cousin. Frodo waved slightly to him, too weak to bother asking why he was hear and how he managed to unlock the front door. "What on Middle-earth? Frodo? Are you all right?"  
  
Frodo sniffled and attempted to look annoyed. "Do I look it?"  
  
"No, you look like a-"  
  
Frodo held up a hand. "You weren't supposed to answer that.."  
  
Pippin blinked. "Oh!" Then a bright smile flashed across his youthful face. "Well, how do you feel?"  
  
"I feel like the butt of some cosmic jest..." Frodo mumbled almost too low to hear.  
  
"Aw.." Pippin went up and took Frodo's hand and gave it a soft pat pat. "Well! Never you fear, dear cos! Dr. Peregrin will make things right!" He thumped his chest for emphasis.  
  
The mischevious look on Pippin's face caused a look of foreboding to appear on the sick gentlehobbit's face. "Oh no..."  
  
It was only a little later and still early in the morning when Frodo could have sworn he tasted something on the air that was delicious. He could even almost smell it with his stuffy nose. A few moment later Pippin entered the room and Frodo's winter blue eyes widened at the sight of him. He had dressed himself up in a large white coat that hung to his knees, something he must have snatched from some of Bilbo's old closets. He looked unmistakeably like one of the healers from the Healing House in Frogmorton, and Frodo wondered with some dread if that was not his youngest cousin's intent.  
  
The next thing he noticed caused his spirits to rise, for it was a tray of food, mushroom soup, bread, and tea. "Oh... What's that?" Frodo tried to sniff the air again through his reddened nose. "Is that food you're bringing for me, Pippin, me lad?"  
  
Pippin frowned slightly. "I won't respond unless you call me Dr. Peregrin."  
  
Frodo blinked, then laughed nervously at the younger hobbit's demand. "Pippin-"  
  
"Ooohhh, this smells so gooood," Pippin began as he set the tray down just out of Frodo's reach. "Hot tea with honey, fresh bread from the oven, and mushroom soup! Mmmmm...." He took a deep breath, putting his back to Frodo and blocking his view of the meal.  
  
"Pippin!"  
  
"Oh it's soooo tastey! Mmmmmm..."  
  
"D-don't you start eating my food now, do you here me Took?!"  
  
"What was that? I could have sworn I heard someone saying something. Probably just the wind."  
  
Frodo groaned loudly at his childish stubborness. "All right! DR. Peregrin!"  
  
"Why yes, me lad?" Pippin whirled around with a grin, adopting the voice of a kindly elder. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"Why no!" Frodo exclaimed, his voice dripping sarcasm on the floor. "I'm just laying here in bed with the worst flu in the history of Middle-earth, calling you doctor for the fun of it."  
  
Pippin huffed, looking slightly offended. "Well, if you are going to act that way, after all the trouble I went through to make you this savory, mouthwatering-"  
  
"By the Shire!" Frodo fairly wailed before setting a very forced smile to his face, showing off his teeth. "Dr. Peregrin, could you PLEASE give me something to eat? I can't get up myself," he added begrudingly.  
  
"Why certainly, me lad."  
  
"And if I COULD get up, you'd be paying for it..." he muttered under his breath.  
  
"Pardon, cos?" Pippin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Nothing at all, Doctor! Please, I'm very hungry now..." Frodo forced himself to sound cheerful.  
  
"Here, me lad," the child set the tray very close to the bed and took a seat next to him. "I'll even spoon feed you."  
  
"Please.. you needn't. I can manage."  
  
"But it's my job as your doctor to take care of you."  
  
Frodo almost rolled his eyes but he caught himself. "Fine, fine. Let's just get started."  
  
And so they did. Pippin ministered to Frodo with surprising patience as the Baggins slowly ate what was being spooned to him. It was almost half an hour later when Frodo made a satisfied sigh and rubbed his tummy.  
  
"Thank you, Pi- err, I mean DR. Peregrin," he corrected himself. "That was an excellent meal.."  
  
Pippin eyed the half eaten breakfast with shock. "But you didn't even finish it all!"  
  
"Yes," Frodo said rather thoughtfully. "Perhapes my appitite has been lessened due to my illness. It's quite all right. I feel quite satisfied."  
  
"No," the young Took stated firmly, picking up another spoonful of soup. "You'll finish it, Frodo, every last bite."  
  
"But Pippin, I'm really quite full-"  
  
"Open up."  
  
"No!"  
  
There was much struggling those next few minutes, but somehow Pippin managed to force poor Frodo to eat everything, to the very last mushroom. After which, the sick hobbit looked even more ill than before.  
  
"Ooooohhhh..... I don't feel so good..."  
  
"Oh hush, you. It was good for you."  
  
At that instant the front door bell went off. Both hobbits looked up with quite differant expressions at the disturbance.  
  
"Now who could that be?" Pippin wondered aloud, looking slightly put out.  
  
"Is it Sam?" Frodo asked eagerly, coughing and trying to sit up with widened eyed."If it is, please let him in!"  
  
Pippin turned and flashed a reassuring smile, hiding the crossed fingers behind his back. "Of course, me lad. I'll be right back." With that the hobbit-child strode down the hall and to the round painted green door of Bag End. He opened the door only half way and sniffed at the accurancy of his cousin's guess. Sure enough there was Samwise Gamgee, calloused hands folded tightly in front of him and looking quite surprised to see someone other than his Mr. Frodo answering the door.  
  
"Oh! Good morning, Mr. Pippin," the gardener of Bag End said with slightly widened eyes at the white coat that hung too long from Pippin's form. "I, um, was wanting to speak with Mr. Frodo, if I may-"  
  
"No, I'm afraid you may not, Sam," Pippin stated simply but firmly, trying to draw himself up to a hight taller than he was really in order to look older. "Frodo's quite indisposed right now and can't be bothered with visitors."  
  
Sam's head shot up and his brow furrowed. "But, Mr. Pippin, please. It's about the gardening-"  
  
"You can have the day off."  
  
"But-"  
  
Pippin didn't wait to hear anymore and shut the door abruptly. The lad smiled proudly to himself that he was able to protect Frodo from nosy visitors and went back to the Master Bedroom.  
  
"Was it Sam?" Frodo asked as soon as Pippin walked in. He lifted his head to try and see past him. "Where is he?"  
  
"No, it wasn't,"Pippin lied. "I'm afriad it was actually Lobelia."  
  
"Oh!" the Master of Bag End fell back into his pillows with a disappointed sigh. "Well, is she gone?"  
  
"Quite."  
  
"Oh, thank you Pippin."  
  
Pippin gave him a stoney look.  
  
"I mean, Dr. Peregrin."  
  
Pippin's face brightened instantly. "Excellent!"  
  
At that moment Sam was walking by the bedroom window in the garden and tried to peek in through it, because not being let into Bag End had led him to believe that something was up with Mr. Frodo that he should know about. Pippin, however, saw him through the window in time and slammed it shut, knocking the older hobbit fair on the nose. Sam reeled back and let out a cry of pain.  
  
"What was that?!" Frodo jolted upright, looking with startled blue eyes at his youngest cousin.  
  
Pippin turned to face him and smiled sweetly, drawing the curtains as he did so. "Probably Lobelia again or another one of those meddlesome Sackville-Bagginses. You know they're always trying to get something on you to soil your good name. Now, I'm going to go and have something to eat. You just lay back and rest."  
  
A couple of hours later, after not being able to find sleep with the upset stomach, Frodo tried to sit up and get out of bed. Pippin, who sat right next to the bed doodling on a pad of paper, held up a hand and blocked him from moving further.  
  
"Um, excuse me?" the child arched his eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
Frodo frowned. "I need to use the bathroom."  
  
"Oh no you don't," Pippin retorted, getting to his feet and pushing him firmly back into a laying position. "You aren't getting out of this bed until you're better, lad."  
  
Now this was almost more than Frodo could stand. He narrowed his eyes into slits and his tone became hard as he spoke. "All right, Peregrin Took!"  
  
"DR. Peregrin," Pippin corrected.  
  
"I've had enough of this little game you seem to enjoy playing. I'm your elder, and I won't be taking orders from you anymore."  
  
"I'm the doctor," the boy put his hands on his hips and tried to put as much authority as he could in his voice, "and I say you stay in bed!"  
  
Frodo tried to get up, but Pippin had been prepared for this. To the gentlehobbit's utter shock, the young Took suddenly leapt up and pinned Frodo to the bed while working fast to tie his feet to the wooden posts on either end with some bandages he had kept in his pocket just in case.  
  
"What are you doing?!" Frodo almost shouted and started to cough uncontrollably.  
  
"Making sure you stay in bed, cousin," Pippin stated in a matter-of-fact tone, all the while putting all his weight in the already weak hobbit and using both hands and teeth to tied his furry feet to the bed. "Doctor's order."  
  
"Let me up! I have to go!"  
  
Suddenly the door bell rung again.  
  
"Now what?" Pippin rolled his eyes in exasperation as he hopped of the bed, leaving Frodo with his feet firmly tied to the bed. He went quickly down the hall and opened the door. Meriadoc Brandybuck stood on the Bag End front porch, staring with high eyebrows at his white overcoat and the roll of bandages in his hand.  
  
"Er... right..." Merry said slowly. "I'm afraid to ask why you're dressed like that, so I'll get to the point. Where's Frodo?"  
  
"He's indesposed at the moment," Pippin answered simply. "Would you like to leave a message?"  
  
"I would LIKE to see my cousin, Nurse Pip."  
  
"That's DR. Peregrin," Pippin corrected straight faced.  
  
Merry eyed his younger cousin. "You're kidding, right?"  
  
Just then Frodo's nearly frantic voice was heard from within, calling out in a pleading voice, "Dr. Peregrin? Doctor?! Please, let me up!"  
  
"You actually have him calling you that?!" Merry cried out aghast, eyes widened further.  
  
Pippin smirked triumphantly. "A hungry Hobbit will do many things in order to get fed."  
  
Merry stared stone faced at Pippin for a moment. "Let me in, Pippin."  
  
"You don't have an appointment."  
  
Merry's eyes became hooded. "If you don't let me in right now, I'll have to tell the Thain who's been pinching his special weed supply."  
  
Pippin immediatly backed away and waved a hand inside with a nervous smile. "Welcome to Bag End, cousin Merry!"  
  
"That's right," the tweenager said as he stepped into the smail. "Now where's Frodo?"  
  
"He's perfectly all right!" Pippin insisted. "He's resting now."  
  
"AH!" The sudden cry from the bedroom was followed by a loud PLUNK.  
  
"What was that?!" Merry demanded.  
  
Pippin blinked and fidgeted. "That? That was a pigeon."  
  
Merry didn't listen as he ran into the room and realized that the loud noise had come from Frodo falling to the floor. His ankles had been tied to the two posts at the foot of the bed and now he lied sprawled upside down halfway off the bed.  
  
"What in the Shire have you done to him?! Why is he tied to the bed?"  
  
Pippin huffed and crossed his arms in childish indignance. "He insisted on trying to get up out of bed and walk about. I was merely securing him for his safety."  
  
Merry went and untied the knots on Frodo's feet, causing the sick hobbit to drop completely onto the ground with a groan. "Frodo? Cousin, are you all right?" he asked worriedly, helping him to his feet. Frodo said nothing and instantly ran out of the room. The bathroom door was heard slamming in the hall a second later.  
  
"You kept him from going to the bathroom?" Merry turned sharply to the boy. "Pippin Took, this time you've gone too far!"  
  
Pippin sniffled and shuffled his furry feet. "I'm just trying to make him feel better."  
  
"I hope you're not seriously thinking that..." the elder boy started.  
  
Pippin pouted and Merry saw he was serious. "Never mind..."  
  
After a moment's wait, Frodo still had not come out of the washroom. Merry decided that he wouldn't wait any longer and stood up. "I'm going to check on him."  
  
"I'll go with you," Pippin sprung to his feet.  
  
"No you won't. You'll go into the kitchen and make us some tea."  
  
"But I'm the doctor! I should be taking care of him, not you!" Pippin stamped his foot childishly. Merry gave him a whithering look and Pippin pouted again before sulking off into the kitchen. Merry walked into the hall and knocked on the washroom door.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
"Go away," Frodo's voice came out sharply from behind the door.  
  
"It's me, Frodo! Merry, your cousin."  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
Merry sighed. "Now cousin, you know you can't stay in there. You'll just get more ill."  
  
"HE'LL get me if I come out," Frodo's voice hissed. "I'd rather take my chances in here, thank you."  
  
"Oh come now, be sensible!"  
  
"I need to be alone..."  
  
Merry rolled his eyes. "Now Frodo, this isn't proper. If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were doing something undecent in there."  
  
"J-just go away!"  
  
"Don't be silly. Open this door, Frodo."  
  
"Get out of here!"  
  
Merry frowned. "Open up or I'm coming in."  
  
Silence for a moment. "You wouldn't dare..."  
  
Merry took a step back and rushed forward, throwing his body against the door and knocking it open. Frodo stood in shock at the action. "You're both in league!"  
  
Merry got to his feet and came towards him. "Come on, Frodo. Back to bed with you."  
  
"Get away!" Frodo slapped his hand away. "I can handle myself!"  
  
"Pippin!" Merry called without taking his eyes of Frodo. "He's delerious! Help me carry him!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Pippin came running in, as if he had been listening and waiting in the hallway. With a combined effort, they picked the frantic hobbit up and carried him back to the room. He continued to struggle weakly against them so they felt it was nessesary to tie him back up again.  
  
"My word!" Pippin gasped after they succeeded in restaining him. "I wonder what could have driven him into this state?"  
  
Merry glared at him with an eye twitch.   
  
Hours more passed by and afternoon settled in the Shire. Frodo had gone still and appeared to be napping. Merry had been watching him while sipping tea as he had sent Pippin to see about getting them some lunch, after having missed second breakfast. At last, Frodo began to stirr, catching Merry's attention the moment he began to twitch his fingers.  
  
"M-Merry?" Frodo rasped, his voice a little dry from coughing.  
  
"Yes. I'm right here, cousin Frodo."  
  
The elder hobbit weakly motioned to him to come nearer. "Come closer..."  
  
Merry leaned in close. "Yes?"  
  
"Closer..."  
  
Merry leaned in very close. "Yes, what is it?"  
  
Frodo suddenly vomited on Merry's shirt and vest, causing him to shriek and leap back. "There..." Frodo said with a slight grin. "I feel much better."  
  
Pippin walked in with a tray of lunch at that moment and gasped at the sight that met him. "Oh dear. Looks as if I'll have to cook up some more soup."  
  
"M-my new vest..."  
  
Merry was still in shock when Pippin took him by the arm and led him to the washroom. "You'll have to wash up if you plan on staying around for the fun. This is a house of healing after all, not a kegger at the Golden Perch."  
  
Merry stared bleakly down at his ruined clothes as Pippin shut the door. "And I used to like mushroom soup..."  
  
  
Another hour went by, and Frodo seemed to have recovered from his delerium. Merry was watching him again, sitting a little further away from him now, and Pippin was currently at the door arguing with Sam.  
  
"Samwise Gamgee, for the last time, you can NOT see him!"  
  
Sam folded his arms in front of his chest and glared down at Pippin with equal stubborness. "And why not is what I'd like to know! Listen, if you'd just let me in for a moment-"  
  
"Out of the question," Pippin cut him off with a shake of his curly head. "Now please, for his sake, don't come back till I say it's all right. Believe me, when time comes, you'll be the first to know!"  
  
"When YOU say?!" Sam rumbled.  
  
Pippin ignored the snarl from the older, larger hobbit. "Good day, Gamgee!" and he slammed the door closed again. "Wind, weed, and water!" the boy threw his hands into the air with frustration. "That Samwise will just not give it up!" He stomped back into the room just as Frodo was beginning to stir again.  
  
"Merry?" Frodo said softly, slowly blinking the sleep away from his eyes.  
  
"........ Yes?"  
  
Frodo sighed at the wry expression on his cousin's face. "I'd like to apologize for my unexcusable behavior earlier. I don't know what came over me. And I'm sorry about your vest..."  
  
The now vestless Merry sniffed. "Oh, that's all right. I guess I can always buy a new one.."  
  
"And really," Frodo added in ernest, "I am feeling a lot better now. Thanks to you two, I think I'm managing to come around."  
  
Pippin raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"  
  
Frodo nodded vigerously. "Oh yes. In fact, I think I feel better than I ever have before. I feel so good, I think I can go about my normal business now on my own. You needn't even stay with me any longer."  
  
The young Took's eyes became hodded. "Is that so?"  
  
"It is," Frodo affirmed, and looked at the two younger hobbits wryly. "So.. will you let me get up?"  
  
"No," said Pippin and Merry in union.  
  
"Curses..." Frodo coughed and sneezed. "I thought I had you..."  
  
Merry turned to Pippin. "But do we really need to have him tied up anymore? He seems to have calmed down."  
  
Pippin rubbed his chin. "Actually, I think we'll have to untie him anyhow if we're going to be able to give him his bath."  
  
Frodo and Merry up looked sharply at him. "WHAT?!" they both yelped.  
  
Pippin nodded. "We can't allow the germs to do any more harm on your body than they already have done. You needn't worry. Merry and I will clean you right up with some sponges and wash clothes. You needn't even get out of bed."  
  
"No!" Frodo squeeked, then tried to calm down. "No, t-that's really not nessesary-"  
  
"Of course it is," Pippin cut him off. "Now help me get his clothes off, Merry."  
  
Merry frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose we must get him washed up somehow..."  
  
"You untie him while I get his shirt off," Pippin instructed.  
  
"Get away from me!" Frodo shrieked.  
  
"Frodo, you know I take no real pleasure in this, right?" Merry asked worriedly. "Right?"  
  
"Gah!"  
  
"Ew, Pip, he's all sweaty."  
  
"Free his legs, Merry, so I can get at his -"  
  
"Let go of my pants!"  
  
"Oh mercy. I think I am going to need a therapist."  
  
"Now Frodo, the doctor knows best, so stop struggling. You'll only make your condition worse."  
  
"YOU make my condition worse!"  
  
"Hold him, Merry!"  
  
"What are you going to do with that?!"  
  
"I believe it all started, doctor, when we tried to give our ill cousin Frodo a sponge bath one day. That's when the nightmares began..."  
  
"Stop squirming."  
  
"AAAH!!!"  
  
  
Later that afternoon Frodo laid in the bed, pain shooting through his limbs. His untied arms and legs were stiff from being bound up earlier, and he felt as if his head was on fire.  
  
"Frodo.... Frodo... "  
  
Frodo blinked rapidly upon hearing a sweet, lilting voice call out to him. It was familiar and he knew it the second he heard it. "Sam?" The gentlehobbit looked up from his bed. There he saw Sam standing before him, dressed all in glittering white that reflected the light of day. He held his breath as the vision moved by his side.  
  
"It's okay Mr. Frodo," came Sam's soothing voice as he gently touched his forehead. "I'm here now. Everything is going to be all right. I'm going to take care of you."  
  
Frodo felt relieved tears stinging his eyes. "Sam. My dearest Hobbit. You're a mercy!" He took his hand and held it to his cheek.   
  
Back in the real world Merry stood there stunned while Frodo stroked his hand. He yelled out, a hint of panic in his voice., "Pippin! I think Frodo is delerious again!"  
  
"Sam..." Frodo sighed happily, stroking his hand.  
  
"What's happening?" Pippin poked his head into the room, wearing an apron now over his white coat.  
  
"Sam, don't you ever leave me..."  
  
"Ah! He kissed my hand! Make him let go!"  
  
Pippin felt his forehead. "Great elephants! He's burning up."  
  
"Sam... Sam..." Frodo moaned.  
  
"Don't you fret, cousin Frodo!" Pippin pulled himself straight and yanked th apron off dramaticly. "Dr. Peregrin will make everything well again! Merry, perhapes you should stay with him, since he seems to have grown attached to you while in his little dream world. To the medicine cabinat!"  
  
Pippin dashed off and Merry watched him go with a twitching eye. "Frodo is not the only one living in a dream world.."  
  
Outside, Sam was pacing on the front porch of Bag End and finally he decided he couldn't take it any longer. The whole situation with Pippin had pushed his temper to the limit. Up he came and tied the front door, only to find that Pippin had locked it. He scowled at it for a few moments and even concidered breaking it down. Then he noticed the open window that looked out from the kitchen and climbed through that instead.  
  
"Now take your medicine, Frodo dear," Pippin's voice could be heard saying in the Master Bedroom.  
  
Frodo's voice cried out from within. "Sam! Sa- Ugllluk!"  
  
Sam stormed through the hall and into the room to see Merry holding Frodo's arms down while Pippin straddled his waist. Sam stood red with shock and fury at the scenerio. Merry's eyes were wide and frightened at the sight of the older hobbit glowering at them. Pippin looked irritated at the interuption. He raised an eyebrow and put his hands to his hips, still sitting on top of Frodo and holding a bottle of some pink liquid in his right hand.  
  
"Sam, do you mind?" he asked in annoyance.  
  
Sam fumed. "What in the name of all sanity are you doing to Mr. Frodo?!"  
  
Frodo turned his head tiredly in the direction of his voice. "Sam?"  
  
Merry let go of a now limp arm to point. "Yes! Yes, he's Sam, not me! So stop trying to hold me!"  
  
"Cousin Frodo needs to take his midicine. He's very ill," Pippin explained in an obvious tone.  
  
"And no doubt you're making it worse!" Sam snarled. "Get off him!" The angry hobbit strode up to Pippin and lifted him up with ease into the air, tossing him onto the floor and knocking Merry down in the process. Sam didn't pay attention to their groans as he bent down towards Frodo.  
  
"Mr. Frodo? Are you all right, me dear?"  
  
Frodo looked up at him with wide blue eyes. "Am I still dreaming? But the other dreams were horrible!"  
  
"It's all right, Mr. Frodo, sir," Sam comforted, stroking his sweat damp hair off his face. "I won't let them meddling lads get at you again." He then turned an angry face at the two cousins. "Well? What have you to say for yourselves?"  
  
Pippin got to his feet and seethed. "Dr. Peregrin will not tolerate such treatment! Please kindly remove yourself from my patient."  
  
Merry got to his feet and elbowed the youngster in the ribs. "Oh, knock it off Pip!"  
  
Sam shook his head in disgust. "Never mind, I don't feel like hearing it now. Just get out!"  
  
"But-" the two started together.  
  
"OUT WITH YOU!" Sam roared. He herd them down the hall and practiclly shoved them out the door. The hobbit then slammed it closed on them. Merry moaned as Pippin had landed on him again.   
  
Pippin glared at the door with indignant outrage. "What nerve! I didn't even get the chance to give him my bill!"  
  
_______  
  
Talisha  
  
Keeper of Frodo's messages to Sam in a bottle. ^_~  



End file.
